Of Lust and Laundry
by Cashmeritan
Summary: Then again, when had it EVER been a good idea for Kaoru to trust Megumi?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first RK fic, and it's the first multi-chaptered fic that I've started in a while that has gotten me all excited. Some details in this story may be a bit muddled when compared to the canon, please correct me if you find any glaring errors.**

**This very well could have been just a very long one-shot, but there are some other elements that I'd like to add to the story that would have made this a veeery long one-shot. XD Also, the chapter's short, forgive me! I haven't written in a while and I'm out of practice!**

Chapter 1:

The day had started off too smoothly for something to _not_ end up going wrong. Kaoru had decided this after she had awoken to Yahiko greeting her without a derogatory line, waving at her when he stood up from the dining table to head out to the dojo and train.

"'Later, Kaoru," he said.

She twitched. No 'ugly' or 'hag'? She crept over to the window, peering outside in suspicion. It was a gorgeous day, the first sunny day they had had all week. She was in the process of turning around when she saw Kenshin had materialized behind her. She shrieked and backed up against the window, gasping for air.

"Kenshin, don't scare me like that!"

Kenshin was smiling at her in amusement. "Good morning, Kaoru-dono. I was just wondering what you could be gazing at so intently out there," he said, gesturing to the window.

Kaoru couldn't easily tell him that she had gone to the window to make sure the sky hadn't fallen over-night, so she gave a nervous chuckle. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she remarked.

"That it is," he agreed, before looking at her with something unreadable in his smile. "I made your favorite for breakfast this morning."

Her eyes lit up with child-like glee. "Really?!" Omelet rice! Kenshin made it just the way her father used to, putting her favorite vegetables in with the rice.

When she was eating, Kenshin laid his hand on her shoulder when he asked her omu-rice was. She had nearly started choking on the rice and forced a nod and a smile, wondering what forces could have pushed him to be so... touch-y. Surely, they both knew how they felt for one another, but things were progressing between them so slowly that she almost forgot that he really did like her. He had made more physical progress between them right there than they had had in over a month! Once the realization set in, she felt rather pathetic about the situation.

She smiled to herself once she was able to swallow the bite that had been disturbed. The day was turning out perfectly – her favorite breakfast, her favorite Kenshin... To top it off, her created family had just come together again recently.

Sanosuke and Megumi had returned from their respective journeys merely a couple weeks ago, their arrivals separated by a couple days. Kaoru felt that it was suspicious that they would return at the same time, and wondered if they hadn't just been rendezvousing about Japan together the entire time they were gone. Yahiko had been disappointed about relinquishing the apartment that he had been 'taking care of' for Sano, and reluctantly packed up and moved back into the Kamiya residence.

"Kaoru-dono, I think I should go start working on the laundry, that I do," Kenshin told her in a soft voice, letting his hand fall from her shoulder almost reluctantly as he went outside to retrieve the washing basin.

All Kaoru could do was stare after him mutely, wondering if something had changed while she was asleep.

"Kaoru-san!" Megumi's voice suddenly rang through the halls and was soon followed by her enviously elegant figure shuffling into the kitchen, patting the same shoulder that Kenshin had just touched. Kaoru fell into another slight coughing fit, and the older woman fixed the situation by delivering a swift slap to the girl's back.

Contents from her mouth flew out onto the table, and Kaoru quickly hid them from view, her face reddening. "Megumi-san," she greeted weakly, giving a slight bow of the head. "What brings you here?"

"You, actually. I need to borrow you," Megumi replied, tugging the back of Kaoru's collar sharply and kept pulling harder until Kaoru nearly spun to her feet, facing her with a scowl as she brushed herself off.

"What could you possibly need me for?" Kaoru demanded. Things had been going so well before that fox had arrived... She always brought a heady air of all things adult with her whenever she entered a room, though it could have just been her perfume.

"Womanly business," the fox-like woman responded quickly, waving to Kenshin who was now working on laundry outdoors as she dragged Kaoru outside. "Hello, Ken-san!" she said cheerfully.

Kenshin raised a hand in greeting, smiling at the two women.

Kaoru's ears had not deceived her. The older vixen of a woman hadn't put on her usual seductive tone that was reserved just for Kenshin! Even after she had been aware of the feelings between the two of them, she still insisted on wielding that awful weapon of a voice that Kaoru couldn't dream of being able to use. Maybe today still was a good day, she thought to herself, and so she smiled.

Once they were on the street, Megumi whirled around and got in her face, her eyes wild. "You don't trust me about this, do you?"

Raising an eyebrow, Kaoru reared back away from Megumi's face and rested a hand on her hip. "I don't know how to trust you after that last incident... My hair was tinted purple for a week," she grumbled.

Megumi smirked. "This time, it's completely different," she replied with a womanly laugh that Kaoru envied. "I could use your help with something at the clinic. Incidentally, the help that I need will also benefit you in the end." She took hold of Kaoru's arm and dragged her to her clinic, leaving Kaoru more confused than before.

–

"I need you to help me use Ken-san as a medical experiment..."

"Absolutely not!" Kaoru shouted, throwing her hands out in front of her and shaking her head vigorously.

"But you like – no, love Ken-san, don't you?" Megumi asked, beginning to circle the room.

Kaoru blinked at Megumi, unsure of what sort her answer could spark. "I...yes, I do," she said softly, lowering her head. She then looked up and narrowed her eyes. "Wait, that's exactly the reason why I don't want to do this!"

"Good! Then give just him this tincture tonight at dinner; you only have to slip it into his tea," the older woman directed, handing Kaoru a thin glass vial filled with a light green fluid.

"What _is_ this?" Kaoru deadpanned, holding up the vial and examining it closely.

"Dr. Gensai is pressuring me to find willing young men to test it on. He says that it's a revolutionary mixture that will change the way that we look at reproducing," Megumi explained with an uninterested sigh, flipping her hair.

"W-What?!" Kaoru cried, clapping one hand over her mouth. "This...! What are you giving me?!"

"The matter is what you'll be giving Ken-san," the female doctor said with a smirk. "It's said to carry many hints of natural aphrodesiacs, as well as other minerals that boost stamina."

"Stamina?" Kaoru blanched.

"Well, you do want to get married to Ken-san someday, don't you? Why not start things off with a bang, like with this tincture?"

"Has this even been tested yet?" The tanuki girl demanded.

"Of course it has. We tried it in a pair of couples, and both reported...explosive results," Megumi watched Kaoru's reaction with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Dazed, Kaoru handed the vial back to Megumi. "I-I can't..."

"Oh, but you can." Megumi covered Kaoru's hand with her own, pushing it towards the other girl. "It's a hundred percent safe, and it will get the two of you over this awkward little in-between stage that's been going on for months now."

Kaoru opened her palm, looking at the tincture with a mixed expression. It felt wrong to use something artificial to further things between her and Kenshin, but Megumi was right. It had been months and things had remained the same as ever between them.

"Fine. I'll do it," she mumbled. "But only if you promise that nothing bad will happen to him."

"Perfect!" Megumi cried. "Oh, thank you, Kaoru! Thank you!" She latched onto Kaoru's arm and proceeded to lead her to the door.

Kaoru was shuffled out onto the streets with Megumi gushing into her ear about how wonderful it would be for both her and Kenshin, and how the research would really help, and how she better give it to him or else she would find out and give it to him herself and reap the benefits.

She made her way home, pensive. Looking down at the thin glass container in her hands, she inhaled sharply as she weighed the risks.

After all, how much harm could something this small do?

–

"Yahiko, have you seen Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin poked his head into the dojo, glancing at the young man who was busy throwing every part of himself into his practice.

Yahiko stopped, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Nah, I thought she went out into town with that fox lady," he said between breaths.

"That's what I'm concerned about," Kenshin said quietly, leaning against the wall. "It seems that when Megumi-dono is involved, one can't trust things, that they can't."

The teenager turned and smirked at him. "What are you afraid of? That Megumi is playing match-maker between Kaoru and some other random guy?"

Kenshin blanched, and he reached for his sakabatou, gripping the handle. His eyes flickered with something that Yahiko didn't think should be exercised any further, so he cleared his throat and waved a hand in front of the red-haired man.

"Hey, Kenshin. I was just joking, jeez," he said, watching Kenshin's shoulders relax though his hands remained upon the grip of the sword. "They're probably just doing girl stuff."

"Right," Kenshin muttered, mostly to himself as he turned to head into the house. Megumi-dono wouldn't try and do that, would she? She knew how he felt for Kaoru-dono... Unless it was Kaoru-dono who requested such a thing...

The realization struck him that there was no such situation going on except in his imagination, and his grip slackened as a wry smile crossed his lips.

Judging from the amount of light filtering through the window and spilling onto the floor, he wagered that it was a good time for him to start preparation the rest of the day's meals.

#

**End of chapter 1!**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yay, it's chapter 2! The plot thickens! I'm still not quite satisfied with this chapter, I'm not sure why these keep coming out on the shorter end. I have to work on that. XD As long as you guys enjoy it, that's what matters - so let me know if you DO enjoy this chapter. :DDD

Please reviewwww!

And apparently I'm supposed to put a disclaimer? I've been writing fanfiction for 8 years. Disclaimers? Disclaimers, you bitches ain't shit.

The rating will probably go up from here on out, so expect this to be an M-rated fic soon.

#

Chapter 2:

How To Talk to Girls

#

When Kaoru pushed open the gates to her residence, the last thing that she expected was to have to someone jump out from behind her.

"'Jou-chan! Just the girl I was looking for!" She only recognized Sano's voice after she was pressed against the gate, recovering from the shock by panting heavily.

Rage overtook her small body as she charged forward straight into his chest, growling, "Sanosuke, you idiot! You scared me half to death!"

Looking down at her in only mild concern, Sano gave a small shrug and removed her from his person.

"So what do you want?" Kaoru seethed, setting all of her weight against one of the gates to keep it open until both she and Sano could enter.

"I'm in need of a bit of a favor..." The rooster-haired man rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze and becoming suddenly coy.

"What kind of favor?" She pushed, resting her hands on her hips. If it was some other ridiculous thing that someone wanted her to do, she was going to raise hell.

"Look, you can't tell anyone!" Sanosuke ditched his briefly coy demeanor, shaking a fist in the air. "If you did, it'd be the end of my reputation."

"What reputation?" Kaoru deadpanned, smirking when she saw Sano twitch.

His face grew red in anger, and he took a deep breath that was released in a sigh, resting his eyes on her and lowering his voice to say, "I need to know how to talk to a girl."

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow, certain that she had misheard him.

"You heard me..." He bit through his teeth, folding his arms and looking away as if it would hide the pinkish tint to his cheeks.

"The great Sagara Sanosuke wants my help on how to... talk to girls, of all things?" Kaoru said the words calmly before she snorted and burst into laughter, doubling over and gripping her knees to keep from tumbling over.

"Oh, shut up! Maybe I should've gone to Tae then," Sano grumbled.

She managed to straighten herself up and stifle her laughter enough to speak, but she couldn't hold back the smile on her face. "Don't worry, I'll help you. It's just that this is very... unexpected, to say the least."

The blush was fading from his cheeks, but was still obvious even as he cleared his throat and shuffled his feet in the dirt of the walkway. "Yeah, well, people change," he muttered under his breath.

The humor from Kaoru's smile was replaced with a more gentle look, and she approached him and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm done making fun of you," she said. "But that's not to say that I won't bring it up if you ever do something to embarrass me." She gave him a warning look.

Sanosuke smirked, and squared his shoulders, his usual overconfidence returning. "It's a deal, 'jou-chan. And...thanks." He hesitated when expressing his gratitude; pink beginning to line his cheekbones yet again.

"No problem. Though I am curious about who this girl is..." Kaoru said, stroking her chin and examining him. He stiffened and appeared to grow uncomfortable under her scrutiny. Her face loomed over his, grinning wickedly. "It's someone I know, isn't it?"

"N-No! I mean, it's none of your business, you damn woman!" Sano stammered, making a hasty retreat backwards, away from her presence.

"Hmm." It was hard not to revel in the way that she was making him twitch and shudder, but she often prided herself on being a good person at heart, so she spun on her heels and began to stroll towards the house. She paused and glanced at him over her shoulder, smiling as something came to her.

"Compliment her, call her pretty! Girls love that stuff. Especially if you get real specific," she called to him.

He gaped at her, soaking in the information. "'Specific'?"

"Yeah, like... 'Your eyes are like two beautiful pools of water that reflect the moon'..." Kaoru offered.

He snickered. "Girls like that stuff? That's so cheesy."

"Is not!" She shot him a glare, turning to face him sideways. "You asked me how to talk to girls, and there's no way a girl will turn down a guy who says stuff like that. Not even a dirtbag like you."

"Hmmm...Thanks, 'jou-chan," he said, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding her gaze.

She smiled. "You're welcome, Sanosuke." With that, she turned and continued on her way to the house.

Sano stood, still in the entrance barely past the gates, and sighed heavily. He ran a hand through his messy brown hair and turn his eyes skyward. Spending so much time with Kaoru had given him a vague indication of what women were like behind the scenes, when they weren't in the mood for upholding images of propriety. Still, he couldn't help but hope for a girl who'd be more...feminine...

He supposed that he had gotten as much as he could out of Kaoru. He wondered if Kenshin would have anything more to offer on the subject, having been married once, but then scoffed at the idea.

–

Kaoru paused in the doorway, fingering the object that had shadowed the back of her mind, now shoved into the stiff fabric of her obi. She removed her sandals and stepped inside, announcing her return with a quiet, "I'm home!"

She poked her head around the corner and shuffled towards her room, thinking that everyone must have been out in the dojo at this time of day.

Kenshin's warm voice swept against her from the entrance to the kitchen. "Kaoru-dono," he said. "You're home."

The effect that his voice had on her was similar to having a hot wet cloth placed upon one's aching shoulders at the end of a long day. His presence soothed her instantly, and managed to brush away the problems and anxieties that clung to her as if they were nothing but dandelion puffs hanging on her clothing.

Her shoulders unconsciously relaxed, and she gravitated to him with a smile. "Kenshin... What are you doing? I thought you'd be in the dojo."

"I watched Yahiko go through part of his kata earlier, but I thought that I would have lunch ready for you once you came home from being out with Megumi-dono, that I did," he said, disappearing back into the kitchen as a queue for her to follow him.

She ducked into the kitchen after him, inhaling deeply. "What are you making?"

Kenshin knelt down next to the stove. "I thought I'd use the vegetables from the garden and add them to noodles that we had laying around," he explained, stirring the pot on the low stove. "I'm going to use leftovers and make a hot pot for dinner, that I am," he added, sounding a little excited. "That way we won't have to throw all of that meat away."

Kaoru smiled to herself as she watched him begin to putter around the kitchen. The way that he got so excited about his cooking made her wonder if she shouldn't be that way, and the way that their gender roles were reversed was rather comical in her eyes. He was practical in every sense of the word, and if he could use something in a way that would prevent it from being wasted, he would jump on the chance giddily.

"Kaoru-dono, lunch will be ready in only a couple minutes. It just needs to simmer down a bit, that it does," Kenshin's voice interrupted her thoughts, and she turned to see him smiling at her.

She nodded, rising to her feet. "I'll go let Yahiko know," she said, sweeping out of the kitchen and down the hallway, sighing to herself. She paused when her doorway came into view and she slid the shoji open and withdrew the vial pressed against her chest, quickly setting it down on her dresser. Spinning around, she shut the screen behind her and made her way to the dojo.

–

Yahiko was sprawled out on the floor of the dojo, beads of sweat clinging to the skin of his face and throat, chest rising and falling quickly. His shinai was still gripped in his right hand, and when the entrance to the dojo slid open, his grip tightened, though he was too exhausted to make a move.

"Hey, kid."

His eyes narrowed. "Oh, it's just you," he responded to the voice, managing to roll himself over and face the visitor.

Laughter echoed in the near-empty halls, and footsteps crossed over to where he lay.

"Dammit, Sano, don't you have somewhere else to be? Like at that fox's place?" Yahiko growled, muffling his voice against his left arm.

Sanosuke nudged him with his foot, smirking. "Aww, come on. And miss hanging out with my younger brother of choice? Why would I do that?" He sauntered around the dojo, hands shoved into his pockets.

The younger boy released his shinai and hoisted himself up into a sitting position, his eyebrows knit together. "All right," he said. "What are you here for now? Lunch is going to be ready soon, but you wouldn't be in here if it you were interested in that."

"What do you mean?" Sano asked, flicking his eyes over to regard Yahiko, cracking a sly smile. "Of course I'm here for lunch." His expression changed. "Unless it's 'Jou-chan's cooking... but then again, an empty stomach can't protest too much," he said with a sigh.

Yahiko rolled his eyes, stretching his growing limbs. "Who do you want me to talk to for you?" he asked in a dry voice. "I swear, this is the last time. After this, I'm not your 'poor little brother, battling consumption'." He shook his head. "I don't even know how those women buy it."

Sanosuke snorted, but shook his head also. "Nah, not this time. For the record – I don't know how or why they buy it either, but all I know is that it gets me the desired result," he said with a smirk.

"Ew." Yahiko stood, rolling his eyes. "I'm not becoming like you when I'm older."

"Aww, don't be so harsh, kid! Anyway, I just need you to run on down to Megumi's real quick," the rooster-haired man said, rubbbing the back of his head.

"What for?" Yahiko questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"There's a message I want you to give her for me," Sano said, pacing lazily. "Just hurry and go do it."

"Why can't you do it?" The young boy's eyes narrowed.

"Because that defeats the purpose!"

"What purpose?!"

"Just do it!"

"Well, what's the message, you idiot?!"

"Here!" Sanosuke waved him over, and then bent over to whisper in his ear.

Yahiko's face betrayed nothing but sheer confusion, and he reared back to examine Sano's face. "Are you sure that's what you want me to say?"

"Yeah, just go say it. I'll wait here."

"Whatever," Yahiko said with an uninterested shrug. "I'll be back, I guess." He bent over to pick up his shinai, lugging it over his shoulder.

_'I don't get these stupid adults...' _he thought to himself, scowling as he stepped outside.

Sano stood behind, smirking to himself in satisfaction with his arms crossed until Kaoru entered shortly after, calling out, "Yahiko! Lunch is almost ready!"

With her hands resting on the frame of the screen, she looked puzzled at Sano's presence in the dojo.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's Yahiko?"

"I sent him out on a little errand," Sanosuke explained, waving his hand in dismissal. "Now what's this about lunch? Did Kenshin make it?"

Kaoru glared and twirled on her heels, already on her way back to the house.

"Aw, come on, 'jou-chan!"

–

Kenshin was ladling portions into three bowls when the slam of a shoji and Kaoru's fuming presence startled him. Trying to process what could have happened, he lowered the large spoon that he had been using, and waited for her to inevitably vent her steam.

"Sanosuke's here, and he sent Yahiko out to do some stupid job for him again!" She grumbled, and her arm lashed out faster than he realized as she snatched a bowl and went to grab chopsticks, immediately setting into her noodles with an almost violent passion.

He merely stared at her, not quite sure what the issue was, until she paused in her noodle massacre, small curled pieces of noodles hanging on her chin, and cried out, "Is my cooking that bad?!"

He blushed and busied himself with grabbing a fourth bowl, mumbling under his breath that they were going to need it now that they had a guest.

"Kenshin!" she growled.

"Y-Yes?!" He spun around, clutching the bowl to his chest.

She released her chopsticks, allowing them to slant against the interior of the bowl, and pulled her lip under her teeth, nibbling it tensely. "Teach me how to cook," she mumbled.

Kenshin relaxed, and set the bowl down beside the other two, smiling at her with what he hoped didn't betray his relief. "Of course, Kaoru-dono. It'd be my honor," he told her softly.

And they locked eyes for what seemed like a terribly long moment to her, in which her heart rattled nervously against her ribs, like a bird demanding to be let out of its cage, and she knew she was blushing. The whole thing was absolutely ridiculous and she knew it. She shouldn't have gotten so moody, but she couldn't help it and Kenshin was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, it was crazy but she was positive that he was. Her thoughts came out in a jumbled train-wreck of a string.

She then realized that she still had the remains of some noodles clinging to her chin, and she wiped at them vigorously before diving back into the bowl, accepting it as a welcome distraction.

As for Kenshin, his eyes creased in happiness at seeing her act like her usual self, and he knelt down and began to package the leftovers.

–

Yahiko skidded to a halt in front of the Dr. Gensai's clinic, rubbing his stomach as it released a growl. He thought bad things about Sanosuke as he made his way inside.

"Of course, Mrs. Funakoshi, you'll be fine. It was just a small scare; the baby's still a long way from ready." He heard Megumi using a sugary-sweet voice that grew closer as she shuffled a young mother-to-be to the entrance.

"If you have any more sharp pains like that, just have your husband contact the clinic, all right? Bye now!" Megumi practically shoved the woman out the door despite her protests.

"Yo, fox lady," Yahiko greeted her monotonously. "Rooster sent me here with a message for you."

"Oh, did he?" She strode towards him, naturally looming over him due to the height difference, and folded her arms.

"Yeah, he wanted me to tell you that-" He was cut off by Megumi slapping her hand over his mouth, nervously smiling at the other patrons in the office who were giving her strange looks. She seized him by the upper arm and dragged him back to where the examination rooms were.

"Hey, what are you-?!"

"Tell me in here, okay? I need to uphold a certain image here," she said, flinging him into the room and then sliding the shoji shut behind them.

He rolled his eyes, rubbing his arm tenderly. "Crazy fox..."

"What was that?" she demanded, bearing her teeth. "Just get this over with so I can get back to work."

"Okay," Yahiko said, growing exasperated. "He SAID..."

A huge crash resonated throughout Gensai's clinic, followed by a juvenile scream.

–

TBC


End file.
